TOP 2 Reasons Men Are Tired Of Independent Women
from the Man's Perspective
from the Man's Perspective
Oh yes, another one of “those” articles. Except I'm keeping it real~Share it and let’s get the convo really started. Here we go...
What makes a Woman independent? Ask 100 people and get 105 different answers. And even when there are so many positive representations of what an Independent woman could be, the negative connotations are still out there and with good reason. No one wants to hear about it at every moment. No man wants to hear how you don’t need him in your life. And this isn’t about dumbing down (hate that term) before someone thinks it is. It’s about being a Woman and allowing your actions to speak to who you really are. Just as Women we want the men in our life to ‘show’ us that they care and that they will do what they say they will; the same rings true for us.
“I don’t need a man”
Be honest with yourself; sure you do, unless you plan on being single until you leave this earth. The only reason we say this is because we don’t have a man at the time we’re saying it. There are so many problems with this statement aside from the fact that men don’t want to hear it and it’s a real turn off. It has the opposite effect you’re looking for and if you’re saying it to your girlfriends to appear on top of your ‘single game’, stop it.
The fact is we do need men in our lives, what we don’t want or need is the bull we put up with from the last few relationships we’ve had; it’s the heartbreaks and disappointments we can do without. We never want men to think we are weak or that we need them, even though we WANT the ability to need them. We have associated the word need with weakness and weakness means we’d be too vulnerable, too open. Isn’t that an oxymoron? When you say “I don’t need a man” it screams you do and badly. If you’d be honest with yourself and pull down that smokescreen from over your heart, it shows just how vulnerable you truly are.
If you’re in a difference place of your life’s journey where you’re focusing on just you—say that. People understand and will respect you that much more.
***
“I can pay my own bills”
Who cares? Women across the world have associated being independent with having a career, paying bills and having material things. Sure, having a successful career allows for more money and you may have more ‘financial freedoms’ than others but that doesn’t define who you are as a Woman (or does it?) That doesn’t make you independent.
Even when you’re broken, broke and/or bitter—somehow women find a way to attach themselves to the “Independent Woman” mantra even when it’s not true. Even when we’re on the brink of self destruction and life is spiraling out of control—we’ll continue to sing that same old song. The ability to ‘pay a bill’ is just one itsy bitsy piece of true Independent Womanhood. Stop telling men you can pay your own bills. He already knows that. Announcing it is unattractive and unnecessary. You don’t need to constantly validate yourself to make men know you can take care of yourself without them. When a man see’s you, meets you, and how you carry yourself he’ll know you have it together and can take care of yourself. He’ll see for himself where he can fit in, where he can contribute to your life.
Whether you loved or hated this article, I want to know about it! Let's talk, like grown ups!
Doyle says?????
April I agree with both of your responses to the tired wornout statements made by many women today; "I dont need a man", and "I can pay my own bills"....Defining need -A condition or situation in which something is required or wanted. Technically i dont need my second kidney, football, or a job, but lets face it i like these thing and given a choice i think ill keep my kidney. Most women who are in a good relationship want to keep their men, and most women want to be in a good relationship so it goes without say ya'll need us men!!
"I can pay my own bills"- Hummmm where do i start? Im gonna go out on a limb and speak for all the men out there, " can you pay mine too, so your saying you dont need my child support?, I guess well be doing more dutch then." If a brotha wants to help you out in these tough economical times except it as a blessing if it were me I'd sit back and play it cool.
What makes a Woman independent? Ask 100 people and get 105 different answers. And even when there are so many positive representations of what an Independent woman could be, the negative connotations are still out there and with good reason. No one wants to hear about it at every moment. No man wants to hear how you don’t need him in your life. And this isn’t about dumbing down (hate that term) before someone thinks it is. It’s about being a Woman and allowing your actions to speak to who you really are. Just as Women we want the men in our life to ‘show’ us that they care and that they will do what they say they will; the same rings true for us.
“I don’t need a man”
Be honest with yourself; sure you do, unless you plan on being single until you leave this earth. The only reason we say this is because we don’t have a man at the time we’re saying it. There are so many problems with this statement aside from the fact that men don’t want to hear it and it’s a real turn off. It has the opposite effect you’re looking for and if you’re saying it to your girlfriends to appear on top of your ‘single game’, stop it.
The fact is we do need men in our lives, what we don’t want or need is the bull we put up with from the last few relationships we’ve had; it’s the heartbreaks and disappointments we can do without. We never want men to think we are weak or that we need them, even though we WANT the ability to need them. We have associated the word need with weakness and weakness means we’d be too vulnerable, too open. Isn’t that an oxymoron? When you say “I don’t need a man” it screams you do and badly. If you’d be honest with yourself and pull down that smokescreen from over your heart, it shows just how vulnerable you truly are.
If you’re in a difference place of your life’s journey where you’re focusing on just you—say that. People understand and will respect you that much more.
***
“I can pay my own bills”
Who cares? Women across the world have associated being independent with having a career, paying bills and having material things. Sure, having a successful career allows for more money and you may have more ‘financial freedoms’ than others but that doesn’t define who you are as a Woman (or does it?) That doesn’t make you independent.
Even when you’re broken, broke and/or bitter—somehow women find a way to attach themselves to the “Independent Woman” mantra even when it’s not true. Even when we’re on the brink of self destruction and life is spiraling out of control—we’ll continue to sing that same old song. The ability to ‘pay a bill’ is just one itsy bitsy piece of true Independent Womanhood. Stop telling men you can pay your own bills. He already knows that. Announcing it is unattractive and unnecessary. You don’t need to constantly validate yourself to make men know you can take care of yourself without them. When a man see’s you, meets you, and how you carry yourself he’ll know you have it together and can take care of yourself. He’ll see for himself where he can fit in, where he can contribute to your life.
Whether you loved or hated this article, I want to know about it! Let's talk, like grown ups!
Doyle says?????
April I agree with both of your responses to the tired wornout statements made by many women today; "I dont need a man", and "I can pay my own bills"....Defining need -A condition or situation in which something is required or wanted. Technically i dont need my second kidney, football, or a job, but lets face it i like these thing and given a choice i think ill keep my kidney. Most women who are in a good relationship want to keep their men, and most women want to be in a good relationship so it goes without say ya'll need us men!!
"I can pay my own bills"- Hummmm where do i start? Im gonna go out on a limb and speak for all the men out there, " can you pay mine too, so your saying you dont need my child support?, I guess well be doing more dutch then." If a brotha wants to help you out in these tough economical times except it as a blessing if it were me I'd sit back and play it cool.
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